Day 2: SingaMore

 

Day 2:  Last day in Singapore:

Good morning Singapore.  It’s nice when writing the blog when my travel mates send me pics. I woke up this morning to a beautiful picture of Mark’s cock during his morning walk. 

Cock -A- Doodle Feinberg

Rob woke up to a different picture from Mark.

How's your cock doing? 

Fame and Bethie have organized a guided tour of the city today. I continue to do nothing. There are those types of travels that like to “do” and there are those that like to just say "ok”.  I’ve learned over the years that the Doers and the Okers travel well together.  It’s the Questioners that piss off the Doers. Shouldn’t we go do this?  Why did you choose that?  When are we going to here?  So far it feels like we have just the right number of Okers and Doers.  Thank you Doers.  I'm Ok. I'm more than Ok.

Queen Doer.  Great tour.

Robin is our tour guide. He said the driver’s name is Batman. I like this guy.  His itinerary will hit some of the popular districts of Singapore.  Sounds perfect.  Robin is a Doer.  Duh.

Everybody Loves Robin

First stop was Haji Lane.  Rob coined it Hand Haji Lane.  Aspirational.  Very aspirational.

Mo-Phos on Hand Haji

Robin explained something special about Haji Lane, but I wasn't listening.  It's not that I didn't want to listen.  It's just my mind wanders too much and I lose focus at times.  I really am trying to focus more and stay off my fucking phone.  The phone is a focus killer.  I see it all around me.  I will be better.  I really liked the area though.  It had a cool vibe to it.  Graffiti walls.  Cool bars and restaurants.  A pleasant, grass rooted different feel from the rest of Singapore. 

Graphiti on Hand Haji 

Just Be You.

Singapore is 70% Chinese but also has some different cultures.  Japan took it over during the war.  Robin said that the British rule caved within 69 days to Japan.  Over the years, it's become a bit of an Asian melting pot.  Robin took this pic of us while a dude with a stroller was checking out my wife.  

Fuck off Stroller Dude.  She's mine.

Our next stop was the Indian district.   I think about 10% or so of Singapore people are from Indian decent.  But I wasn't listening to that part either.  I was searching for simosas.  But there is an Indian district.  We were there.  The girls stopped for Henna tattoos.  

I kinda feel like Henna Tattoos are like the toupees of tattoos.  But you girls be you.  No judgement.  

Phake Tattoo You

Rob manned up and got the real deal.  Rob puts the Mo in Mo-Pho.  He's Master of the Mos.  And Pharaoh of the Phos.  Me, Brad and Mark cheered on.  Go Mo -Pho go.      

Mr. Mo-Pho

Laura and Dan spent the morning visiting an ex co-worker of Dan's who now lives in Singapore.  See, the blog is not just my experiences.  Here I am flexing and simultaneously documenting Laura and Dan's journey with Dan's working buddy.  It's pretty cool he actually knows someone that lives here.  From the pictures Dan shared, honestly, he looked a little ghostly to me.   But Laura said he was a really nice guy.

He also seems to like his cocktails

They were also treated to a Singapore delicacy for lunch.  How fun!

I thing they are called "Singa SchaaaWings" 

While Dan and Laura were fine dining.  Batman and Robin drove us through the Red Light District on our way to lunch.  

That's some serious bush

I did hear from Robin that 90% of the population owns a home.  Pretty incredible.  Singapore employers contribute 20% of their salary into a home fund to help save for the down payment.  And the government provides the mortgages or helps or something.    The best part is all homes come with their own built in washer and dryers.

Air dryers.

Robin says taxes are around 22% for everyone.  The economic plan seems to be working.  And so does the  plan against crime.

Is 20G of drugs a lot or a little?

Caning is real.  People actually get caned for breaking the law.  Honestly, I don't mind it.  Singapore is clean.  People own homes with dryers.   There's no homeless.  There's little crime.  Seems like it shouldn't be too hard to fix our shit at home.  Just follow their lead, right?  I just have to be really careful where I throw my gum.    

Moving on, in all transparency, we are on our way to lunch and along with my gas, I’m constipated.  The double whammy.  I’ve had many false alarms.  For me a false alarm feels like when someone buys you a gift card and you're really hoping it's for Roger Dunn Golf and instead,  it’s for Olive Garden.  Who buys fucking Olive Garden gift cards?

False alarm feeling

Robin took us to one of the Hawker Centers for lunch.  These are famous food destinations in Singapore.  It's basically a food court on steroids.  They actually have Michelin Star food stalls.  The lines for those were 100+ deep.  Instead, Robin trolled the court for the best chicken and rice, peanut spring rolls, an egg and potato dish and some other stuff.  My stomach is a rumblin.  Please no Olive Garden this time.  I need some relief.

You're all looking at me like you know I need to go...

Robin.  Oh Robin.  Where's the bathroom?  

Really?  Come on.  Squat City.  Who's the Mayor?

After lunch and another Olive Garden gift card.  We strolled around Chinatown.   

Sheryl and her President and Founding Member

And we also walked by a famous Chinese type of a tree.

Our pussy's posing next to a willow

Robin was amazing.  I highly recommend a guided tour of Singapore if you're ever here.  It's really the best way to see the sites.  I don't really recommend the river tour that we took after lunch.  No offense Doers.  It was 45 minutes or so, and we didn't see much that we hadn't already seen.  However, if Water Spitting Lions is your thing, I'd probably go for it.    

Be You. Water Spitting Lion.

Be You.  Lion Eaters

After the lion spit at us, we walked over to Raffles Hotel.  The Raffles name is all over Singapore.  It is named after Sir Stamford Raffles, the British officer who established a trading post on the island in 1819.  And in the famous Raffles Hotel is the also famous Long Bar.

And in the Long Bar is the home of the famous Singapore Sling ($39).  

Gin. Cointreau. Pineapple Juice and more

Mo-Pho's Slinging it!

SingaWhores Slinging it!

Brad Selfieing It.  He had 2!

Our final stop in Singapore was dinner at an Indian restaurant.  Since we went straight from Slinging It to Indianing it, we had no time to change and the restaurant did not allow men in shorts.  No problem.

Hava Tikka Masala.  Hava....

What a day.  It felt like Mo-Pho's Day Off.  Thanks again Doers for making Singapore special.  I dug this place.  It was a great way to start our journey and what a journey it has already been.  Next stop. Good Morning Vietnam.  Leaving at 8:00am; 6:30 wake up call.  

I obviously need some relief